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The Ballad of Hannibal Lector by ~superkudos:iconsuperkudos:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Humor > Open


The Ballad of Hannibal Lector
Parody of "Maneater" by Nelly Frutado

Everybody look at me, me.
I walk in the door you start screaming.
Come on everybody what you ‘fraid of?
Don’t be scared I’m just a can’bal.
Ev’rybody get your necks to crack around.
It makes it easier for me to eat you.
I wanna see you all on your knees, knees.
You never wanna be with me or near me.

Meaneater, Mr. Lector
Creepy doctor
Loves to eat flesh, blood and all.
I’m a maneater
My name’s Lector
Creepy Doctor
Freaky patient, yep, that’s right
I’m a maneater, crazy doctor
Gross and chilling
Make you want to hurl, oh yeah
I’m a maneater
I am Lector
My name’s Lector
Wish you never ever met me at all.

And when I stalk I stalk with passion (oh)
And when I plot, I plot like I can handle it (oh)
When I ask for something, girl, I mean it (oh)
Condiments like salt and pepper’ll do great (oh)
Ev’rybody gets their chance, don’t stress out (oh)
All you victims come on in and jump around (oh)
You’re doing anything to get away, hey (oh)
Because I’ll eat you, eat you all alive, yeah (oh)
(Come on girl)

Meaneater, Mr. Lector
Creepy doctor
Loves to eat flesh, blood and all.
I’m a maneater
My name’s Lector
Creepy Doctor
Freaky patient, yep, that’s right
I’m a maneater, crazy doctor
Gross and chilling
Make you want to hurl, oh yeah
I’m a maneater
I am Lector
My name’s Lector
Wish you never ever met me at all.

Clarice, I’m coming to get you, no matter where you run!

(Come on, girl, come on, girl)

Meaneater, Mr. Lector
Creepy doctor
Loves to eat flesh, blood and all.
I’m a maneater
My name’s Lector
Creepy Doctor
Freaky patient, yep, that’s right.
I’m a maneater, crazy doctor
Gross and chilling
Make you want to hurl, oh yeah
I’m a maneater
I am Lector
My name’s Lector
Wish you never ever met me at all.
(oh)


Never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!
You wish you never ever met me at all!

I’m a maneater
My name’s Lector
Creepy Doctor
Freaky patient, yep, that’s right.
I’m a maneater, crazy doctor
Gross and chilling
Make you want to hurl, oh yeah
I’m a maneater
I am Lector
My name’s Lector
Wish you never ever met me at all.
©2007-2009 ~superkudos
:iconsuperkudos:

Author's Comments

I know it doesn't rhyme, but my friends thought it was (kind of) amusing, and I think it's (really) amusing, so whether you like this or not, I really don't care.

"Maneater" (c) Nelly Frutado and other music people
"The Ballad of Hannibal Lector" (c) me

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmaster-of-the-boot:
~Master-of-the-Boot Jun 26, 2007, 5:02:52 PM
I like it. Thumbs up whoever thinks this rhymes.

--
I'm the man in the back who's back from Iraq

~Unknown.
:iconyamashita-miharu:
~yamashita-miharu Oct 22, 2007, 5:30:58 AM
XD awesome

--
'Okay? Ready? Fine. Here's my hand. We're going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight...and beleive.'
:iconsuperkudos:
~superkudos Oct 22, 2007, 3:26:09 PM
thanks!!

--
Love thy God, love thy neighbor.
:iconmintyfreshnoodlebox:
~MintyFreshNoodleBox Dec 27, 2007, 6:02:33 PM
haha, who cares if it doesn't ryhme? made me grin :D

--
irn bru, made from girders!
:iconsuperkudos:
~superkudos Dec 28, 2007, 12:32:32 PM
i'm glad it did =)

--
Love thy God, love thy neighbor.
:iconspocklover:
~SpockLover Apr 27, 2008, 4:32:47 PM
Awesome job!
I tried singing The Ballad of Hannibal Lecter when the song "Maneater" was playing, and it works quite well. And it got me a great deal of personal space in the car, because suddenly everyone was afraid of me.
I can't imagine why. :)
:iconsuperkudos:
~superkudos Apr 27, 2008, 5:05:22 PM
Ha! That makes me laugh. Thanks a lot!

--
Love thy God, love thy neighbor.
:iconlestrange13:
~lestrange13 Sep 10, 2008, 5:30:21 PM
:rofl: That was sooo awesome!

--
If nothing lasts forever will you be my nothing?
:iconsuperkudos:
~superkudos Sep 12, 2008, 5:30:30 PM
Thank you very much =]

--
Love thy God, love thy neighbor.
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June 24, 2007
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